Proper Comm. Skills
Communication is the act of understanding another person through expression and listening, which counts for 99% of the kinds of relationships that are formed. Even entire nations can become best friends or bitter enemies through communication.
There are two primary ways in which we communicate:
- Internal or silent communication. This form of communication is expressed through feelings and emotions. It cannot be heard, but can be felt.
- External communication is verbal and body language. This form of communication also includes writing, sign language, and artistic expression, such as drawings, music, songs, or poetry.
The best way to communicate externally is to listen sincerely and express yourself properly.
Listen Sincerely
Have you ever really thought about why we have two ears, two eyes, and yet only one mouth? I believe we are blessed with two ears and two eyes for a reason: so we can be good listeners and observers. We are born to be better listeners and observers, so we can gain more knowledge and become better communicators. By sincerely listening to others, we will find out what their needs are to better understand them, thus helping to build win-win relationships.
How do you listen sincerely?
- Give your undivided attention to whoever is talking.
- Do not interrupt others unless absolutely necessary.
- Instead of interrupting while someone is talking, listen and write down important points.
Express Yourself Properly
The first step to expressing yourself properly is choosing the right or appropriate words based on the situation. What’s the difference between right and wrong words? Consider the following examples to further understand the difference:
We can express ourselves properly by following CCU:
C hoose the right word.
C ontrol the tone, volume, and speed of your voice.
U se proper body language.
Choose the Right Word
One word!
One rude word can hurt someone’s feelings the whole day.
One warm word can make someone feel good the whole day.
One careless word can ruin a relationship.
One caring word can build a good relationship.
One critical word can create an enemy.
One motivational word can change a person’s life.
One inappropriate word can destroy a person’s life.
One appropriate word can save a person’s life.
1. It’s the Christmas holidays, and you’re eager to show how much you appreciate and respect your loved ones. You decide to take the money you’ve saved and spend the day gift shopping for family members. On Christmas Eve, you head to your family’s house to exchange gifts, and your Uncle Joe and Aunt Susan just opened their presents from you. Let’s see how they react.
Uncle Joe: “This looks like crap. Where the heck did you get this sweater?”
Aunt Susan: “Wow, this is such a thoughtful gift. How did you know I needed a new waffle maker? Thank you so much!”
How would you react to Uncle Joe? How would you react to Aunt Susan? The wrong word can ruin your holiday while the right word can make it the best holiday ever.
2. Mike is attending his father’s funeral, and he is very sad and tired. His two best friends, Milton and Mark, come up to him after the ceremony and offer their condolences.
Milton : “Sorry about your dad. So…how much money do you think he left for you in the will? Think you’re gonna be rich?”
Mark: “I’m sorry for your loss. Your dad was a great man. If there’s anything I can do, please let me know.”
Milton ’s comments would only make Mike’s grief worse or even anger him, while Mark’s words would be soothing and helpful. You can really feel the difference between the right word and the wrong word in this case.
3. Two couples, Elaine & Ed and Jack & Diane, go on a double date, but the conversations are entirely different:
Ed: “Baby, you look like a total pig, and you make me sick.”
Elaine: “You pig!” (Slaps Ed across the face)
Jack: “Diane, I am the luckiest man alive to be with you. You know why?”
Diane: “Why?”
Jack: “Because you aren’t just beautiful outside, but inside, too.”
Diane: “That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me (Kisses Jack).”
Ed just ruined his evening with Elaine because of his careless choice of words while Jack just made his evening a whole lot better because he chose the right thing to say.
4. Bobby’s mom and dad just saw his report card, and it was full of bad grades.
Mom: “How did I raise such a stupid little boy? What do you wanna be when you grow up, a loser?”
Dad: “Bobby, don’t feel bad. Everyone has trouble in school some times. Whatever subjects you are struggling with, I will be more than happy to help you. I am always proud of you because I know you are smart, strong, and are my son.”
Think for a moment. Mom’s way of raising Bobby would send that child into the wrong direction. His father’s way of raising him will help Bobby become a very successful individual, and make his parents very proud.
Choosing the right words is the first step to becoming a good communicator.
Effective Speech Writing
Keep the Audience From Dozing off even after a Meal
No matter how responsive audiences are, challenges always pop up during speeches. An audience can wander off mentally during my seminars (I would hope they wouldn’t wander off physically). I’ve learned that my routine must be varied throughout the day because many people get sleepy after eating, especially after lunch. Although it’s the body’s natural way of handling digestion, sleepiness after meals can be avoided by eating smart.
Still, it does me no good to speak to a sleepy midday audience. Here are some ways you can revive such an audience and keep their attention through the day’s end:
Impact Statement
When I have an all-day seminar, I address my audience’s fatigue after lunch with an impact statement. First, I ask them to please close their eyes and take a 5 to 10-minute nap. Some might and some may not. At any rate, wake them up after 5 to 10 minutes with a snap and tell them that you are going to cover the most important things at your seminar.
Applause
Applause is a great audience picker-upper. Start off by telling the audience to pay attention because you have something very important to say. Then say something like, “The sun rises in the east, and sets in the west,” or something similar that the audience cannot disagree with. After making your statement, ask the audience that if they agree with your statement, to please give you a big hand. Then all of the audience should applaud, which keeps them from dozing off.
Eye Contact
Try to make eye contact with the audience as much as possible. Even though you can’t see all of the audience’s eyes, you know they can see yours. By keeping your eyes trained on the audience at all times, it will be extremely helpful in keeping an audience awake.
Get Them Moving with a Seminar Exercise
To take the audience’s mind off of wanting to sleep, interact with them. Say, “If you believe you can do it, stand up, raise both arms and say, ‘I can do it’ loudly.” Other times say “If you think you are a leader, make the person next to you happy by talking, motivating, and encouraging them, and shake their hand.” You can also ask the audience to do a simple exercise in their seat, like asking them to put their hands up, clench them into a fist, and then unclench them, repeating it 100 times. They will think it’s easy but in actuality, their muscles will become sore. You can also come up with special seminar exercises of your own. By asking your audience to physically do something, they remain awake, have fun, and stay alert.
Brainstorming
Another great fatigue-buster is brainstorming. Ask the audience for their help in solving a problem. For example, “Why can’t many people lose weight?” The audience then may dig 20 problems out of that one question and then find the answers to all of them. Going through this kind of question-and-answer session makes it difficult for the audience to sleep because the mind is occupied.
Repeat after Me
Interacting with the audience is such a great way to make them forget about being sleepy. I especially love verbally interacting with them. Sometimes I’ll say: “If you want to have lots of self-esteem and maintain successful habits, please repeat after me three times, ‘I love myself, I love my family, I love my country.’” Other times I’ll say, “Repeat after me loudly, ‘No fear,’ ‘No fear,’ ‘No fear,’ and ‘I can do it,’ ‘I can do it,’ ‘I can do it.’” When the audience responds in kind, they begin having fun and don’t think about sleep anymore.
Ways to Perform Excellently at Other Events
Make sure to smile, be passionate, listen carefully, and answer questions clearly.
- If speaking at a town hall meeting…
Make sure to smile and be enthusiastic, pay close attention, write down important points in order to answer questions and form effective responses.
Make sure to smile with passion, ask questions sharply, listen carefully to your opponent and write down important points in order to answer questions effectively and form a rebuttal.
Always show enthusiasm, listen carefully to the questions and answer wisely and clearly. Choose the right words, control your voice for maximum benefit, and use natural body language.
communication is the key to building win-win relationships and to succeed in life. Therefore, we created a public speaking contest for students to develop better communication skills and to become an excellent public speaker. We will provide our winners of the speaking contests with public speaking engagements.